Confiscating car keys from foreign tourists – parochial puffery

Confiscating car keys from foreign tourists – parochial puffery

“Locals reaching their grubby little hands into hire cars driven by tourists and taking their car keys has been a recent trend in New Zealand”.

What’s been happening to car keys?

As if it’s not enough for New Zealanders to collectively have one of the worst road fatality rates in the  world, we now have a way to redirect our consciences by stealing hire car keys off foreign tourists.

See, the foreign tourist Johnnies made the mistake of coming here and causing one or two high profile crashes which affected Kiwis personally. That’s bloody bad form you jokers! So now, because you are all easily identifiable due to your accents and different taste in clothes, don’t stop to take a photo, because somebody called Murray is going to reach over and take your car keys. (Per capita, Kiwi road deaths last year were the ninth highest in the world, with 8.9 deaths for every 100,000 residents). This was higher than the figures for the Czech Republic, Slovenia and Hungary and more than double the figures of Norway, Israel, the Netherlands, Sweden and Britain. So unless you are brain dead, you’d quickly realise that the unacceptably high fatality rate has little or nothing to do with foreign tourists, with or without their car keys. We just hear about foreign tourists having crashes because it gives us someone to point fingers at and sells adverts on the 6 o’clock news.

I can’t prove it and some people will scoff at me, but I would wager that the fatalities caused by foreign tourists are, per kilometre, much lower than the “domestic” rate. Drive for 10 minutes on any New Zealand road and I guarantee you will see at least one event that makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. It’s every man and woman for themselves. Courtesy? You are joking of course.

It’s shameful and embarrassing

As a nation, we need to be honest with ourselves for a change. This foreign tourist car keys thing is a sideshow, a distraction, a farce. We all know that people from other countries have different driving habits  from ours and sometimes they are confused and slow to adjust to driving on the left. They also make mistakes such as driving while fatigued or fail to understand our signs and road junctions and that needs to be worked through. Try going to their place. See how you would get on.

But marching up and stealing their car keys?! How parochial, how narrow minded, how arrogant. And frankly, how racist!

I betcha NONE of these so-called public spirited “Good Keen Men” would take the car keys off their mates as they are leaving the pub or the party legless. None of them.

No, this is a bad trend. A bigoted, puffed up, dishonest and shallow trend, by narrow-minded bullies with an excuse to beat their chests and look like a tin hero. Some expression comes to mind. Something about our own house being in order first… The message is folks: “Don’t come to New Zealand unless you can drive like us”.

Spot the problem with that concept.


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